Number 31 — April 29, 2005 Here is a brief scene that combines internalization and authorial comment to show a GOAL—Gino wants forgiveness—resulting in internal CONFLICT that he resolves when he hasn't the courage to console his mother and walks out.
Note how the writing formats are intertwined. Sometimes, authorial comment and internalization are essentially indistinguishable or blurred, nonetheless, the piece ends with action and resolution. |
Number 32 — May 6, 2005 · Previous · INDEX · Next · I come to my favorite topic; adverbs. A word ending in ly may signal missing action that hides an emotional state. If this is the case, replace the adverb with an image that brings the action or emotion out of hiding. In the next few weeks, I intend to give you some examples in which adverbs have failed to do the job the author intended. Edith backed carefully out of the garage. The adverb in this sentence contributes little. It could be omitted and the sentence would deliver essentially the same message. Edith backed out of the garage. The inference in both sentences is identical; Edith left the garage without incident. Whether she did it carefully or not is irrelevant in that adding the adverb does not add an image for the reader. Every reader knows what it means to back out of a garage. We have all done it, presumably carefully enough to avoid a mishap. Does the reader need to be told Edith did it carefully? I don't think so. What we could do instead is to consider Edith's actions backing out of the garage. These might reveal something about her that will create an image. Let's try. Edith looked first over her right shoulder, and then over her left as if the garage door had shrunk since the last time she drove. Twice she got out of the car; once to survey the driveway for wayward objects, and once to make sure the right side of the car was clear of the doorjamb. Here we see Edith exercising extreme care, but what else do we see that was absent from the initial sentence? Here is a cautious person who may or may not be terrified when she drives, but it is plain she doesn't like to drive if she takes such elaborate precautions to get out of the garage, never mind entering the traffic stream. In other words, by considering the word carefully as hiding something, then when we describe what's in the cache by either actions or emotion, we show something of Edith's character, or her state of mind. Let's change our sentence a little. Edith glanced over her shoulder, slammed the gearshift in reverse, and backed out with the tires squealing. The care Edith exercised in this case was limited to glancing over her shoulder. But, her state of mind is completely different than inferred from the previous sentence. The use of the adverb carefully to describe how Edith backed out of the garage failed. By exposing Edith's actions in detail, she is either timid and cautious, or aggressive and angry. Ah! That's the stuff of creative writing. |
Number 33 — May 13, 2005 · Previous · INDEX · Next · I continue my attack on adverbs. Consider this sentence: We moved smoothly and beautifully together as if we had danced together before. This is a poor sentence for two reasons. The first is word repetition: The word together appears twice. Even one use is redundant because if they danced, they obviously did it together. The second fault is the nondescript adverbs that contribute at best a weak image. My list of whatifs is not created by magic. Ask four people to write ten questions on any topic—say dancing with a new partner for the first time—and you'll get forty different questions. Next, ask each of the four to write a 100-word article, without adverbs, about the emotional experience involved by drawing from their whatif questions. You'll get four different articles. One article may be better writing than the others, but that will be because of the author's skill, but none will be right and none will be wrong. The result will be that each author converts the awkward thirteen-word sentence at the beginning of this article into their description of the emotional experience of falling in love on a dance floor. This is an example of searching for emotion or action that may be hidden behind an adverb. |
Number 34 — May 20, 2005 · Previous · INDEX · Next · I will end my dissertation on "ly" words in this article. Here is yet another example: But this absolutely floored me. A word ending in "ly" combined with a colloquialism that does not deliver an image. We could write the sentence without the word absolutely and deliver the same impact. (But this floored me.) The meaning of the statement is not in doubt, but it is an expression that does not do justice to storytelling because it does not deliver an image. Is something hidden here? Was the speaker astounded? Astonished? Surprised? Happy? Or, lying on the floor unconscious? Friends and family at the party were equally impressed. What did the author mean and how could she testify to the equality of the friends' and family's impressions? Why did she write the sentence in the passive voice setting the focus on the friends and family? The word equally is unnecessary and out of place. It would have been enough to write; "Friends and family at the party were impressed." (Still passive.) Or, if sharing the reaction is important to the context of the scene, then expand the image, put the focus on the reaction, and write in the active voice. Mouths hung open beneath unblinking eyes while the magician enjoyed the stunning reaction his trick evoked. Again, create an image; show your reader a picture. I repeat my earlier caveat; I do not claim you should erase adverbs from your vocabulary. Sometimes an adverb is perfect for the idea you want to express. When that arises, use the adverb, but challenge it first. Look behind it, around it, and through it to make sure it does not mask something your reader should see. Make a note of the hidden emotion and revise your work to bring that emotion to the forefront so readers have no difficulty understanding the scene you are trying to show them. Stephen threw his workbook across the room. He rested his head in his right hand, closed his eyes, and tried to ease the tenseness in his shoulders. 'I cannot get it right,' he said. The word simply is no longer needed since it contributes nothing to the emotion in the scene. Good writing omits tautology (needless repetition of the same sense in different words), verbosity (wordiness) and redundancy (needless repetition). They serve no purpose except to fill space. Search for clear imagery instead. |
Number 35 — May 27, 2005 · Previous · INDEX · Next · I signed up for a six week creative writing class. The instructor asked why I joined since I have six published books. I said to broaden my horizons. Indeed, at the lecture last night, I did. She came up with a writing exercise I had never seen before. Instead of doing crossword puzzles or cryptograms, try this: Ask someone to select a picture at random from anywhere—magazine, newspaper, book. Then write the story you see in the picture from different perspectives. Use a freewriting technique and try to complete at least five different perspectives in a limited time. The class had fifteen minutes last night. Try it when you have a few minutes on your hands: riding the bus to work; idling in the Laundromat; waiting for the roast; having lunch alone; sitting out the inevitable delay in your doctor's schedule. Numerous occasions exist in our daily routine with a few minutes to fill. This exercise stimulates your mind, exercises your imagination, and makes time pass quickly. Try it—might be fun. No. I'll assert it is fun. |
Number 36 — June 3, 2005 · Previous · INDEX · Next · On Christmas Eve 1998, I submitted my first e-zine article. The thought of writing for the Internet intimidated me. Nonetheless, I persevered and mailed my first completed manuscript to a publisher a year later. The achievement was not what you might suppose; I paid to have it printed. Yes, against the advice of every person I consulted, I elected to self-publish. This is my story. |
Number 37 — June 10, 2005 · Previous · INDEX · Next · When my first book arrived, I delved into marketing, an enterprise I had never done in my life. Have I succeeded? Don't be silly. Have I enjoyed it? Absolutely. Writing carried me to arenas I would never otherwise have entered. As a volunteer in 1999, I taught fifth grade storytelling and writing in a local school. In the spring of 2000, another school asked me to supervise eighth grade preparation for National History Day. During that summer, I was a guest instructor at "KidsWrite 2000" at the University of Arkansas. I speak at bookstores, clubs, and associations. Once in a while I sell a book. |
Number 38 — June 17, 2005 · Previous · INDEX · Next · My best-selling occurred at a bookstore in Branson, Missouri. The owners allowed writers to set up a table either inside or outside the store. Beginning in June, 2001, I chose outside where tour buses unloaded. I worked the crowds from ten in the morning to three in the afternoon, occasionally on both Saturday and Sunday, but more often, only on Sunday. Branson is a two-hour drive from home, which made a long day. Over the summer, I sold 535 books. It's a tough way to earn money. |
Number 39 — June 24, 2005 · Previous · INDEX · Next · This morning on my daily walk, I met a farmer and his wife driving across their field in a pickup truck. They stopped to chat. One of their calves escaped overnight and they were checking the fence lines. I sensed a story and conjured this tale on my way home for breakfast. Years ago my Uncle Percy raised a prize calf. It's hard for me to ascribe the word beautiful to a bovine, but indeed this was a rare animal. It had two qualities that set it apart from the herd; it seemed more intelligent and displayed a certain bohemian quality evincing a need for human companionship. At a distance, it could not be distinguished from any other of its kind, but at close range two significant qualities appeared. Its coat was soft, the hairs less wiry, and its eyes were alert as opposed to the usual doleful expression of cattle. With its head titled to one side, it watched visitors open the gate, waiting to greet two-legged trespassers who came to its pasture. Now, I stop my story to explain my purpose. In this short 260-word piece, I set up a question in the reader's mind. Whether my writing is a masterpiece of English literature, or a piece of junk, doesn't matter; the reader should still be curious about the explanation. The most important element in a story is suspense. The writer who hangs readers between a question—how did the calf escape—and an answer—through its intelligence; it learned to nudge the gate handle and open the gate—will be successful. What do I mean by suspense? Try this. You're on vacation with nothing to do after dinner. You select a well-worn novel from the hotel library. It doesn't look like much, but it's better than the other trash on the shelves. You settle down in an easy chair and begin to read. You look at your watch, it's after midnight with only fifty pages to go. You have to finish the book. Why? It's not well written, uses words incorrectly, punctuation is poor, yet you couldn't put it down. Why? |
Number 40 — July 1, 2005 · Previous · INDEX · Next · I continue my deliberations on the subject of suspense. During my study of creative writing, I have come across terms that experts bandy about without defining their meaning. Two such clichés are literary fiction and popular fiction. Curiosity led me to the index of my writing manuals. Not once did I find either term in the alphabetical listings, yet they often appear in written and oral dissertations. About a year ago, I raised the question at a writing conference. It led to an extensive discussion that offered umpteen opinions and no answer. I asked the leader to toss out the garbage and draw some definitive conclusion. This ignited another round of repeating what had already been said. In the end, I inferred the consensus defined literary fiction as character-driven, and popular fiction as plot-driven. Without qualifying plot and character, this was a ridiculous distinction because all works of fiction have both plot and character, some good and some bad. As beauty is in the eye of the beholder, so this group conclusion suggested literary classification would be in the mind of the reader. I was struck by the futility of the debate. The writing manuals in my library provide extensive advice on these topics except for suspense and tension, which they fail to define or explain. The significant difference between the two is unclear to me. I'll try to explain my reasoning. |